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Should I Marry a Man Who Earns Less Than Me?

Gone are the days when women took the backseat regarding financial empowerment, and here we are, living in a world of a financially independent woman.

Also, it is no longer a secret that women can make more money than men, which has significantly impacted marriages and relationships.

In marriages or relationships, men have been breadwinners or providers, so when a woman who earns more comes into the equation, all sorts of emotions and reactions kick in.

There is a lot of stigmatization surrounding the ‘woman earning more than the man’ arrangement, and most people don’t believe such couples can thrive without the man feeling emasculated.

So, is it possible to marry a man who earns less than you?

Are you afraid it may affect your marriage negatively?

Well, all these concerns are valid.

This post will provide valuable insights to help you navigate your current situation.

Let’s begin by addressing your question about whether you should proceed with marrying a financially less empowered man.

Men Who Earn Less: To Marry Them Or Not?

Marrying a man who earns less is possible only if his financial status does not define him.

Some men wouldn’t mind marrying a woman who makes more than them.

In such arrangements, couples focus more on shared values or compatibility, prioritizing their happiness despite the differences in their incomes.

However, you must consider several factors before saying I do with the man of your dreams who makes less money than you bring home.

Here is a list of things to consider:

1. His Career and Financial Aspirations

You need to consider whether your man plans to improve his income by enrolling in further studies or finding a part-time job.

Does he seem comfortable with his income, or does he aspire to earn more?

You can marry him if he wants to improve his temporary financial situation.

Also, if his financial status is long-term, you need to decide if you are ready to put up with that.

2. Do You Share The Same Financial Values?

Financial communication is necessary if you plan to spend the rest of your life with this man.

You need to address the elephant in the room by having him speak his mind and you the same.

He needs to know if you are okay with his income, and you need to see if he shares the same financial goals with you.

What are his spending habits? How do you intend to harmonize your incomes to achieve your goals?

Having such a conversation will help you avoid future conflicts surrounding finances.

You need the assurance that each one will be dedicated to meeting their financial obligations.

3. Gender Norms and Expectations

Remember that society judges marriages where the wife earns more than the husband.

Are you ready to deal with the hushed tones of conversations and judgment you may face down the road?

You need to know that the man will be supportive despite the outdated perceptions that men should be the breadwinners.

You should not let society, family, or third parties define your marriage using the financial aspect, but rather on building your union on respect and trust.

4. Is He Supportive?

 Your decision to marry the man despite your income disparities also depends on how supportive he is in the whole arrangement.

How has he been carrying himself during the period you have been dating?

Has he ever shown signs of being intimidated by your financial prowess, or is he proud of your accomplishments and pushes you to be your best version of yourself?

Besides the financial aspect, is he emotionally available for your needs as a loving and caring partner?

If his support is all-rounded, you don’t need to worry about walking down the aisle to marry him.

5. How Does The Situation Make You Feel?

Marrying a man who earns less also has a lot to do with what the arrangement makes you feel.

Does being the breadwinner scare you or make you resent him?

Are you comfortable paying most of the bills without feeling used or exploited?

You must consider all these concerns and confirm if you will be okay once you settle down as a married couple.

Potential Red Flags to Look for When About to Marry a Man Who Earns Less

Now that you know what to consider before committing your lifetime to a man who earns less, how about familiarizing yourself with the red flags to look out for before tying the knot?

Whether to marry the man or not primarily depends on the level of commitment from the two of you to make it work.

How do you know that your man is wholly committed to supporting you and making this marriage work despite the financial differences?

There are some inconsistencies to watch out for from your man that imply marrying him would be a mistake. Watch out for:

I. Poor Financial Management

 If your partner is financially irresponsible, you have something to worry about.

Does he spend or use his money on gambling, buying unimportant stuff, alcohol, or spending it on friends during night outs?

You also have another reason to worry if he doesn’t save for a rainy day.

If your partner exhibits these financial mismanagement habits, you might want to have an honest conversation with him about it, and if he doesn’t make an effort to change, you should forget the idea of marrying him.

II. Financial Dishonesty

Do you feel that your husband-to-be is not transparent about his income and is only pretending to earn less to get you to pay most of the bills?

If he avoids discussing money issues with you, chances are he is hiding something from you, so trust your instincts if you feel something is not adding up.

III. He Is Not Ambitious

 If your partner does little or nothing to improve his financial situation, you may find yourself in a problematic marriage if you wed him.

Marrying him means you must squeeze your finances to cater for other emerging expenses, especially when you start having children or upgrading your lifestyle.

Do not settle down with him if he is in a comfort zone with his little income unless you are completely okay with his lack of ambition.

However, there is the likelihood that you will regret your decision a few years down the road if you accommodate his lack of drive or financial growth.

IV. Resentment or Jealous

 If your partner openly shows his discomfort or insecurities because you earn more than him, you can be sure that it may worsen if you marry him.

His insecurities may push him to do something that may sabotage your income source because he can’t stand you making more than he does.

Don’t overlook the resentment because it is enough to discontinue a planned wedding.

And don’t lie to yourself that he will change once you exchange the vows.

V. Does He Pressure You To Contribute More?

You have another reason to forget about the marriage if your partner constantly pressures you to contribute more to things that don’t align with your financial goals.

Respect for financial boundaries in relationships and marriages is critical, and you shouldn’t be coerced to spend on things that don’t add value to you.

Bottom Line

There is nothing wrong with marrying a man who earns less.

All you need to do is communicate and ensure you are on the same page on financial matters and other values that strengthen marriages.

Compatibility is vital in marriages, so income disparities should be a non-issue if you share common values with him.

You only need to come up with a strategy on how you will meet your financial goals.

You may also consider talking to supportive friends, family members, or a marriage expert for professional insights on navigating your financial path as a couple.

Chrisa Sayi

Dr. Chrisa Sayi is a distinguished clinical psychologist, renowned author, and gobally recognized relationship expert. With a decade of experience, she has guided numerous couples toward healthier, more fulfilling connections. Dr. Sayi has shared his invaluable insights at over 30 conferences and penned over 100 professional articles and books. Her expertise has been featured in many reputable publications, including Glamour, Medium, Daily Nation, Awakening Africa, Reader's Digest, Bustle, UpJourney, Fatherly, The Zoe Report, Cosmopolitan, and many more. For further engagement, you can connect with Dr. Chrisa Sayi on Twitter via @DrChrisaSayi1.

Chrisa Sayihttp://kenyalogue.com
Dr. Chrisa Sayi is a distinguished clinical psychologist, renowned author, and gobally recognized relationship expert. With a decade of experience, she has guided numerous couples toward healthier, more fulfilling connections. Dr. Sayi has shared his invaluable insights at over 30 conferences and penned over 100 professional articles and books. Her expertise has been featured in many reputable publications, including Glamour, Medium, Daily Nation, Awakening Africa, Reader's Digest, Bustle, UpJourney, Fatherly, The Zoe Report, Cosmopolitan, and many more. For further engagement, you can connect with Dr. Chrisa Sayi on Twitter via @DrChrisaSayi1.
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