When it comes to matters of the heart, it’s hardly surprising that people find themselves entangled in complex emotional situations.
Men, in particular, may seek solace and romance with their side chicks, often at the expense of their family or main love relationship.
However, when you start developing feelings for your side chick, it introduces a whole new set of dilemmas and ethical issues that must be carefully acknowledged and considered before taking any further action.
Perhaps you find yourself infatuated with this new girl, and suddenly your previous devotion as a husband or boyfriend is called into question.
It’s a predicament that requires moral introspection and consideration.
To assist you, this post will be dedicated to providing insights and guidance on navigating the emotional turmoil that arises when dealing with feelings for your side chick.
We do acknowledge that extramarital relationships do come with an endless list of ethical implications, not to mention the potentially harmful effects of infidelity on the parties involved.
Therefore, all content discussed herein does not imply any association with or endorsement by an expert.
We also implore you to recognize this and make morally sound decisions based on the values and commitments that govern personal relationships.
What to Do If You Start Catching Feelings for Your Side Chick
You’ll all probably agree that sexual desire is at the core of any relationship with a side chick.
The emotional connection that a man has with his side chick is usually non-existent.
A man would revel in an extramarital relationship because it is fun and doesn’t come with the drama, trappings, or baggage associated with a committed relationship.
However, that isn’t always the case. While it is generally rare, statistics suggest that 5% of married men who have side chicks proceed to divorce their wives for a mistress.
So, the fact that you are developing feelings for your mistress isn’t unnatural.
But are those feelings authentic? If so, what should you do?
Well, consider the following tips to crawl out of the mess you currently find yourself in.
1. Access the nature of your feelings toward her
First, understand the nature of the feelings you have towards your mistress.
Are they strong emotional ties or superficial infatuations?
The extent of those feelings will determine whether the romantic attraction you have is merely fleeting fluff or something that warrants more thought.
While at that, ask yourself questions like:
- How often do you think about her?
- Are you too eager to impress her as opposed to your girlfriend?
- Do you fantasize that you are already a couple?
- Would you rather share your experiences with her or your girlfriend?
2. Reflect on your current relationship
Ask any married man and they will bear witness that a lot is usually at stake when engaging in extramarital affairs.
As such, you don’t want to make a rush decision and regret it for the rest of your life. And part of that is to consider the current state of your relationship.
- Where do you stand with your main partner emotion-wise?
- What is the strength of your relationship?
- Are you willing to solve the underlying issues that led to your current predicament?
Have a thorough introspection into all the issues affecting your primary relationship, find clarity, and identify any room for improvement. While at that, find answers to questions like:
- Do you feel joyless or depressed about your current relationship?
- Is your girlfriend now the enemy in the grand scheme of things?
At this point, communication can be a powerful tool.
Consider having a meaningful dialogue with your primary partner to identify and constructively address any underlying issues in your relationship.
Sincere communication can heal wounds and promote growth and, before you know it, the key sticking points will be fixed and trust will be re-established in your main relationship.
4. Evaluate the Implications
It can be a wayward move acting on your newfound emotions for your side chick without considering the potential consequences.
Matters of the heart, when handled haphazardly, can bring immense pain and devastation to the parties involved, and even beyond.
Families can suffer, loyalties will be broken, and friendships can be severed.
Let the gravity of the repercussions sink in before you make any rush decisions.
5. Talk to a therapist
Discovering true feelings for your mistress can be a delicate situation, and seeking guidance from a qualified professional such as a marriage counselor or therapist can be beneficial.
A therapist will likely offer objective insights, provide a fresh perspective, and facilitate sound decision-making as you navigate this emotional turmoil.
If up to this point you are still troubled, it can help if you revisited your grand plan for life.
Think about your dreams, what you want in the future, and if your relationship with your side chick falls perfectly into your plans as opposed to your primary partner.
Take a trip if you must, meditate, or even find a solitary place where you can think hard and clearer in isolation.
After all, you need to make a decision that serves you best, while still being considerate and empathetic to all parties involved.
6. Make the difficult decision
Ultimately, any decision you make when you feel deep affection for your side chick rests on you.
Speaking as a man, chances are you may do all the soul-searching but deep in your heart, you still want to keep them both.
Other scenarios can be that you break up with your side chick and be with your wife, or divorce your partner and move in with your side chick.
Developing feelings for your side chick is a sticky predicament that can be fraught with dilemmas and ethical questions.
While the decision to act on those feelings solely rests with you, it is important to take into account the bigger picture, understand the implications and, ultimately, act with compassion.
One thing for sure is this is a situation that will test your ability to make difficult choices.