I’ve come to realize that nothing makes a man more proud than for him to be able to spend money on his girlfriend.
Even the most selfish guy will go out of his way to make her happy, even if that includes buying her expensive gifts.
But something done from a pure and loving heart could in no time turn into a black hole of some sort, swallowing all your money and never giving it back.
How you come off to a girl you’re interested in when the two of you are mere acquaintances says a lot about how your relationship will be in the long run.
Perhaps you tried buying her affection by spending crazy amounts of money on her, or you lied about your social status to impress her.
Whichever the case, you soon realize it’s hard to keep up with the spending, but you don’t know how to handle the situation without jeopardizing your relationship.
This post is prepared to help you sail through the conundrum successfully.
Have an Open Conversation
The key to solving any issues in a relationship is communication.
Talk to your girlfriend about the concerns you have regarding your finances.
This will help you analyze her maturity and how she feels about you as well.
If she really cares about you, she will be ready to listen and help you come up with a solution.
In communicating, let her know you value her input on your financial management plan.
You can come up with a budget together.
Also, make sure she knows that it doesn’t mean that you cannot go out anymore, support her, or buy her presents.
Every girl needs to be treated with love, regardless of your financial status.
A girl looking to be with you long-term will be okay with reducing the number of dates you go on weekly, the money you send her for upkeep, and also lowering your social status.
While it is important to consider other people’s interests first, it is good to be selfish occasionally.
We don’t work hard to make life easier for the people in our lives alone but to have a good life ourselves.
Being selfless does not pay well in the end.
Set yourself some boundaries and abide by them.
Love makes us disregard red flags and go out of our way to support the people we care about.
But having boundaries will help you learn to say no whenever her requests go beyond what you can.
This will take discipline, but in the end, you will have peace of mind and a sense of comfort.
Be Honest With Yourself
The mistake most of us make is having more spending than our income.
Research financial management to know how much money is reasonable to spend on your girlfriend every month.
Also, figure out why you spend way more than you should on your girlfriend.
- Are you trying to please her so she doesn’t leave you?
- Is she way out of your league, so you overspend money to match up?
- Is she only using you for your money?
- Does she ask for ridiculous amounts of money and spend it on stupid things?
- Does she only call you whenever she needs money?
Answering those questions with honesty will give you a sense of direction on the path you ought to take.
If your girlfriend is only after your money, you may need to re-evaluate your relationship status.
It doesn’t matter how pretty you think she is.
A relationship should be a partnership, so everyone involved should bring something to the table.
If all she does is take, then it’s probably best to end things as soon as possible and spare yourself from more pain in the future.
Go Back To the Drawing Board
Come up with a financial plan that fits within your income after tax.
The 50-30-20 rule has helped many manage their finances and can help you, too.
Fifty percent of your income should go into paying all your bills, and the 30 percent cater for entertainment.
The money you send your girlfriend and spend on dates and gifts should be from only 30 percent of your salary.
When you use such a plan, you will always have 20 percent of your salary to save, meaning you won’t feel drained.
This would also be a time to consider your girlfriend’s financial status.
Does she rely on you to pay her bills because she recently lost her job, and her savings are all used up?
If it’s something temporary, then you could sacrifice your finances to support her.
But what if she sits back and waits for you to give her everything?
Recommend that she get a self-sustaining job and be independent.
If she doesn’t want to work, maybe she isn’t right for you.
Think Beyond the Relationship
You and your girlfriend are only dating, and that relationship can end at any minute.
What you will be left with is a future that depends on how you spend your money today.
Besides, if your relationship is to proceed to the next level, you will need to prove yourself financially capable of taking care of your family.
Set goals and work on achieving them.
That will enable you not to put too much value on your relationship that you forget to plan for the future.
Going out and having fun are important aspects of a relationship, and every girl deserves to be spoiled now and then.
But remember that a wise man works hard to build a better future, not spend the entire paycheck on ‘today.’
So, if your girlfriend is draining your finances, have a sit down with her.
Tell her of your situation and that you need to dial down on your spending.
Be realistic, set goals, and make it your priority to achieve them.
If your girlfriend cares for you, she will stand by you and share ideas on what you can do to save more.
If she doesn’t support you, then maybe you need to redefine the significance of your relationship and decide if it’s worth it.