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Why Guys Don’t Date Wife Material?

The term “wife material” refers to a woman who possesses a unique set of traits, ideals, and characteristics that would make her a great wife.

The term permeated the cultural set-guest for as long as we can remember, but it is typically taken as a negative stereotype if someone calls you wife material.

Let’s face it, though. In our societal realities, “wife material” is a stereotype, and so is “husband material.”

That said, I have been in the dating scene for a while now and a frustrating trend has come to my attention: most guys seem uninterested in women with the potential to make great wives.

I have also had conversations with ladies who are also looking to settle down, but they always end up dating men who don’t want to get married.

So, why are guys uninterested in the kind, loyal, and caring women who have put their act together but are only looking to settle down?

Have men simply given up marriage?

Why are men only looking for casual flings and fleeting connections?

Here are some of my thoughts on this subject:

The Age Factor

In my opinion, most guys wait until they are at the right age to get married.

Before they reach that milestone, chances are they won’t take commitment seriously while dating a “wife material.”

Guys get to that critical age when they begin contemplating marriage.

Usually, it is soon after a guy gets a job or a steady income that they feel established in a career and can stand on their feet.

By contrast, young men who are nowhere near the age of commitment rarely entertain marriage.

Considering most “wife material” women have had their fun and are looking to settle down, a young man may be an immature option for them because the sort of thing that attracts them to living single is autonomy and one-night stands.

Some Guys Feel Intimidated

I have also found out that a “wife material” lady who is emotionally mature, independent, and successful does pose quite a challenge to men.

Some men, if not all, feel quite intimidated, and may not even approach her in the streets.

A guy struggling with career or personal issues is more vulnerable to this form of “intimidation.”

Rather than challenging themselves to improve and measure up, guys take the easy route of passing up “wife material” for a woman they perceive to be less intimidating.

Fear of Commitment

Apparently, most men don’t want to get married.

America’s Pew Research Center (PRC) even established that there is an overall decline in the number of folks getting married.

And one of the reasons cited is that guys don’t take commitment seriously or choose to delay until later in life.

Data from the PRC indicates that 60% of folks aged 18 to 30 were already married in 1960.

In contrast, only 20% of people in the same age group were married in 2010.

Today, you will be surprised how many people choose to go without marriage altogether.

For guys that are afraid of commitment, dating a “wife material” is definitely out of the equation.

Besides, they are likely looking for hookups, parties, or just to have a great time.

Fear of Being Controlled

A guy friend in my inner circle once told me he worries that a woman with “wife material” traits may be too controlling or demanding.

He feared he may have to give up his hobbies, friends, or independence to be in a committed relationship.

I have also learned that, often, it doesn’t matter how awesome you look.

A man who is enchanted to live a single life will not relinquish his luxuries to date a “wife material.”

Think of the bachelor parties, booze, and strippers.

Fear of Settling Down

Generally, grown-up men who are ready for marriage will begin the search for brides.

Ask them and they will tell you they are looking for “wife material”.

Typically, boys are told to grow into men and carry on the family name. That may imply raising offspring, but that’s just the literal sense. The phrase has a deeper meaning.

A man is expected to make things better on all fronts: accumulate wealth, maintain family health, educate, and improve living standards.

Think of how difficult it can be to achieve these goals and you will understand why a guy can be hesitant dating a “wife material.”

 Not to mention the potential pressures of being a husband and father.

Fear of Being Inadequate

I know of guys who harbor thoughts of inadequacy.

In such cases, a guy will feel like he doesn’t measure up to the expectations of a “wife material” woman.

In these turbulent economic times, love alone can barely sustain a relationship.

So, most will worry that they won’t be able to provide for her.

These thoughts will make a guy hesitate to pursue a relationship with a “wife material.”

The Urge for Short-Term Gratification

It would be unfair to blame guys, but today’s dating landscape has twisted the narrative for the worse.

Check out any popular dating apps or hookup forums and you will find that most men are more interested in casual flings.

That means a “wife material” woman that guys perceive as being “too serious” will struggle to find a partner.

Superficial Interpretation of a Good Wife

The extensive digital interactive media influence in today’s world has depleted good relationship role models.

 Long are the days when society had a clear mentorship path that taught boys and girls their social roles and marriage responsibilities.

Most guys get to realize their roles late into adulthood. That, coupled with the digital media, has led guys to enter relationships with widely unrealistic expectations, or simply to hook up with the next attractive lady.

This mentality has overshadowed the value of a good “wife material,” and that is a shame because guys should learn to appreciate the qualities of a “wife material” more as these ladies have the strength, commitment, and focus to create healthy, lasting relationships.

Closing Thoughts

So why do guys seem uninterested in dating “wife material?”

Firstly, it is important to mention that not all guys overlook “wife material.”

Some are on the lookout for a bride that they can build together a lasting relationship.

However, I think that men who hesitate to date “wife material” should understand and value more the qualities a “wife material” possesses.

These people make excellent wives and overlooking one could be the difference between a life of happiness and fulfillment or none at all.

You may also want to check: 10 Differences between a Girlfriend and Wife Material

Chrisa Sayi

Dr. Chrisa Sayi is a distinguished clinical psychologist, renowned author, and gobally recognized relationship expert. With a decade of experience, she has guided numerous couples toward healthier, more fulfilling connections. Dr. Sayi has shared his invaluable insights at over 30 conferences and penned over 100 professional articles and books. Her expertise has been featured in many reputable publications, including Glamour, Medium, Daily Nation, Awakening Africa, Reader's Digest, Bustle, UpJourney, Fatherly, The Zoe Report, Cosmopolitan, and many more. For further engagement, you can connect with Dr. Chrisa Sayi on Twitter via @DrChrisaSayi1.

Chrisa Sayi
Chrisa Sayihttp://kenyalogue.com
Dr. Chrisa Sayi is a distinguished clinical psychologist, renowned author, and gobally recognized relationship expert. With a decade of experience, she has guided numerous couples toward healthier, more fulfilling connections. Dr. Sayi has shared his invaluable insights at over 30 conferences and penned over 100 professional articles and books. Her expertise has been featured in many reputable publications, including Glamour, Medium, Daily Nation, Awakening Africa, Reader's Digest, Bustle, UpJourney, Fatherly, The Zoe Report, Cosmopolitan, and many more. For further engagement, you can connect with Dr. Chrisa Sayi on Twitter via @DrChrisaSayi1.
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