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How do Widows Satisfy Themselves Sexually?

Navigating love and sex life during widowhood is challenging to most widows because while they take their time to mourn their husbands, they also have to deal with their bodies craving for sexual attention.

The mind is mourning, trying hard to cope with the reality that the husband is no longer there, but the body desires intimacy, especially for widows who had an active sex life with their late husbands.

To such widows, celibacy is not an option.

Such a situation begs the question, what options do widows have regarding satisfying their sexual needs?

Not forgetting that society is quick to judge widows who move on quickly by getting into relationships or casual affairs, meaning some widows may hesitate to pursue intimate relationships.

 If they have to, it has to be secret.

 Let’s take a look at some of the options widows have that can satisfy their sexual urges:

1.  Casual Dating

Casual dating does not involve any commitments, making it the perfect option for widows who are not ready to commit to a new partner.

Widows can satisfy their sexual needs in casual relationships without developing feelings for their partners.

 Besides sex, they can also participate in other couple activities like dinners, movies, picnics, and other activities that enable them to forget grief for a while.

 Some casual relationships develop into full-blown relationships, which means with time, the widow may start craving a serious relationship with their partner.

If the casual dating partner does not object, the relationship graduates from casual to serious, with even the possibility of blossoming into marriage.

Also Read: Consequences of Sleeping With a Widow

2.  Hookups

Hooking up is another option for widows to fulfill their sexual desires without any strings attached.

Unlike casual dating, hooking up involves getting sexual with a stranger or someone you have no intentions of sleeping with again. It is a one-time sexual encounter.

Widows who opt for hookups want to enjoy their sex life without being tied to another person.

They can wake up and decide to have sex with anyone if the other party is also down for a hookup.

Plenty of dating and hookup sites allow widows to find sexual partners for one-time encounters.

The dating sites offer privacy that most widows need to avoid being scrutinized and judged by those close to them.

In rare occasions, hookups can lead to a serious relationship, but it depends on how much those involved click.

3.  Getting into a Relationship

Widows who are uncomfortable with exploring casual dates and hookups opt for serious relationships.

Unlike casual dating and hookups, relationships require those involved to show commitment.

After months of mourning and feeling ready to get into a relationship, widows can rely on dating sites or blind date services to find a relationship partner.

They can satisfy themselves sexually while in a relationship with someone they love and care for.

Stable relationships offer the reliability that casual dating and hookups cannot offer because a relationship partner also fulfills the widow’s emotional needs.

 If the relationship turns out great, the widow can consider getting married again, although it is a serious commitment that shouldn’t be rushed.

4.  Masturbating

Masturbating is a controversial topic, given the opposition it meets from a religious aspect.

 However, it provides a perfect alternative for widows who don’t want to pursue hookups, casual dates, or serious relationships.

Some widows do not dare to be with another man after the demise of their husbands.

To them, it feels like betraying their late husbands even though they are no longer alive.

In such cases, the widows resolve to masturbate when their sexual desires go overdrive.

 In masturbation, the widow is not dependent on someone else for sexual satisfaction but themselves.

Masturbating also protects them from STIs and heartbreaks, often resulting from relationships and hookups.

Additionally, masturbation is the surest way for a widow to satisfy their sexual urges without being discriminated against or judged by a society that terms it taboo for widows to crave sex after the passing of their husbands.

Zero commitments, emotional baggage, STIs, and judgmental attitude are all pros of masturbation.

 However, it may get to a point where a widow craves intimacy with another person, and masturbation may not be an option anymore.

5.  Remarrying

Widows who fear being stigmatized for being in casual or serious relationships can remarry to satisfy their sexual urges.

However, getting married after a husband’s death is not something to rush into until the widow is sure it is something they want to do.

This is due to many factors like facing opposition from the husband’s immediate family, who feel that he did not mourn their son enough, mostly translated to “she never loved him, otherwise she couldn’t be thinking about marriage again”.

Another loophole in widows remarrying is that most men do not look forward to marrying widows unless they have lost their wives.

Why? Because men fear that widows may never stop mourning their husbands and that they may have a hard time fitting into the late man’s shoes to please the widow.

Therefore, a widow’s best chance at getting remarried is by widowers because they share a common grief.

Some widows may not consider getting remarried because they fear the children may reject their new husbands and never see them as father figures.

 However, why not if a widow explores the possibility of getting married again and finds it viable?

What about Celibacy and Abstinence in Widowhood?

When discussing matters to do with the sexual life of widows, it is also worth mentioning that celibacy is also an option.

Some widows vow to never sleep with another man after their husband’s death.

The decisions may be made for reasons such as honoring their deceased husbands, keeping up with societal expectations, or not being physically and emotionally ready to keep up with relationships shenanigans.

Some religious practices also encourage widows to remain celibate for the rest of their lives without the option of remarrying to remain pure.

Widows who choose celibacy find ways to keep themselves busy to avoid succumbing to sexual temptations.

Some widows join support groups and find new hobbies, while others enroll for therapy sessions for professional guidance on navigating a sex-free widow’s life.

There is nothing wrong with widows prioritizing their emotional well-being by not engaging in sexual encounters.

There is also nothing wrong with widows getting their sexy back after months of grieving their loved ones.

The bottom line is there is no one-size-fits-all approach to how widows should manage their sex lives.

All widows are free to do what works for them concerning their sex lives and should not be condemned for prioritizing their sexual needs.

Chrisa Sayi

Dr. Chrisa Sayi is a distinguished clinical psychologist, renowned author, and gobally recognized relationship expert. With a decade of experience, she has guided numerous couples toward healthier, more fulfilling connections. Dr. Sayi has shared his invaluable insights at over 30 conferences and penned over 100 professional articles and books. Her expertise has been featured in many reputable publications, including Glamour, Medium, Daily Nation, Awakening Africa, Reader's Digest, Bustle, UpJourney, Fatherly, The Zoe Report, Cosmopolitan, and many more. For further engagement, you can connect with Dr. Chrisa Sayi on Twitter via @DrChrisaSayi1.

Chrisa Sayihttp://kenyalogue.com
Dr. Chrisa Sayi is a distinguished clinical psychologist, renowned author, and gobally recognized relationship expert. With a decade of experience, she has guided numerous couples toward healthier, more fulfilling connections. Dr. Sayi has shared his invaluable insights at over 30 conferences and penned over 100 professional articles and books. Her expertise has been featured in many reputable publications, including Glamour, Medium, Daily Nation, Awakening Africa, Reader's Digest, Bustle, UpJourney, Fatherly, The Zoe Report, Cosmopolitan, and many more. For further engagement, you can connect with Dr. Chrisa Sayi on Twitter via @DrChrisaSayi1.
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