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10 Dangers of Dating an Alpha Widow (+ Strategies for Self-Preservation)

Everyone in the dating world has their own set of experiences and difficulties.

So, dating an alpha widow can prove to be a real minefield.

She may appear to have moved on, but deep inside, some parts of her are still attached to her previous dominant male partner.

She seems to carry the emotional baggage of her past and project it on you, causing you turmoil and heartache.

As you continue to court her, you’ll realize that she’s still emotionally attached to her past partner (s), no matter how much time and energy you invest in the relationship.

But this doesn’t have to be a losing battle for you.

I’m going to help you recognize the dangers of dating an alpha widow (at least before you commit yourself…) and provide a few strategies for self-preservation.

What is an Alpha Widow?

Let’s start with an explanation of what an alpha widow is.

Essentially, this is someone who has had a love or sexual relationship with a man she considers to be an alpha male.

 Sometimes the relationship ends badly, leaving her hurt. Nonetheless, her devotion to the alpha guy continues.

Even dating experts have not explained the science behind the huge influence.

However, the phrase “alpha male” is frequently used to characterize men who exude confidence, power, success, and decisiveness.

Relationship experts say dating an alpha widow can have a significant impact on overall health and emotional well-being since one partner’s attention is not in the union while the other is busy building the bond.

Understanding the potential dangers sooner before fully committing yourself is key to avoiding emotional turmoil.

Let’s dive right in…

1. Constant Comparison To Her Past Relationships

An alpha widow may continually compare you to her prior boyfriends, making you feel insecure and untrustworthy.

She’ll talk about how great her ex-alpha guy was, or how her previous relationship was more interesting.

As a result, it will create unnecessary tension between you, resulting in emotional torment.

Strategy

 First, understand that her comparisons show a lack of appreciation for you.

Try not to sweat to match her tastes.

Rather, always keep in mind that you’re an alpha man; care for yourself first, and others will find your distinct characteristics admirable.

2. She’ll  Be Talking Too Much About Her Ex-Partner

She will frequently bring up her previous relationship in conversation.

She’ll never stop talking about how much fun she had with the dominant male.

Of course, discussing prior relationships is natural to some extent, but too much talk about an ex will cause you pressure and feel insecure.

Strategy

Clearly state that you won’t tolerate constant comparisons to her ex-boyfriends from the onset of your relationship. 

Encourage her to look forward rather than backward.

3. She’s Likely To Be Emotionally Distant

Because of her lingering affection for her former partner, an alpha widow may be emotionally distant, making it harder for her to fully commit to you.

Physical relationships may seem to be more appealing to her than emotional attachments.

For instance, an alpha widow may refuse to get intimate or have a child with you without valid reasons, say dating gurus.

Strategy

Have an open conversation about your affection towards each other.

Encourage her to sort out past issues before you move further with the relationship.

4. She May Find It Difficult To Move On From Past Relationships

An alpha widow may have trouble moving on because she still has an emotional attachment to her ex or fear being alone.

She still has romantic feelings for her ex as she believes her ex is present, though not physically.

She clings to old images of him, old chats, and gifts he gave her.

She may give you excuses like ‘we’re just pals’. But the truth is that she is still emotionally attracted to her ex. This can hurt you immensely.

Strategy

If you find your partner unable to move on, assess whether you can walk away and move on with your own life or be patient and support her in their healing process. 

5. She May Appear To Always Have Unsettled Problems with Her Ex-Partner

An alpha widow may have unresolved issues with her ex-partner, such as holding grudges and exhibiting them publicly to you.

Because of the constant push and pull between her and the other partner, building a healthy rapport with her may be tough.

Strategy

You can encourage your partner to resolve any lingering issues with the exes faster.

If she is not willing to settle them, move out and prioritize your own happiness.

6. She May Not Fully Invest in the Present Relationship

She may not want to fully invest in the present relationship.

Perhaps because she is still holding back her emotion for fear that she will get hurt again or that the relationship won’t measure up to her past standards.

Strategy:

 Find out what caused her previous relationship to break.

Was it because of deceit, death, or a common breakup?

If this is the case, be patient as she navigates through the healing process.

7. She May Have Unrealistic Expectations Based On Her Past Experiences

Many alphas widows have a tendency of developing unrealistic expectations based on their past experiences.

Perhaps the ex-partners had good looks, commendable status, and super-confident.

She will expect to meet the same standards in you, which is impossible because everyone is exceptional in their own way. 

Strategy

Have open conversations about each other’s expectations and communicate your own needs and boundaries.

If you notice both of your needs don’t match, it is better to decide what’s good for your own benefit rather than both of you.

8. She May Find Trusting You Difficult

She may find trusting you difficult, most probably because her past relationship ended critically.

You’ll notice that she’s always suspicious, jealous, and insecure around you.

 If your relationship lack of trust and there is insecurity, it will be difficult to form a strong healthy association.

Strategy

Try to have an open and honest conversation to rule out any misunderstanding.

9. She May Want To Manipulate Emotions And Needs To Control You

Because of her past experiences, an alpha widow will always attempt to manipulate your emotions and exert control in order to avoid the same destiny.

Strategy

Understand that your emotional well-being is a top priority. Jump out to remove yourself from the toxic situation quickly.

10. They are Difficult to Please

You may find may pleasing an alpha widow hard in every aspect, not just sexually.

She cannot accept anything else because of the good experience she had with the past dominant male.

No matter how hard you try, she will always keep her thoughts on the previous alpha male, whom she considers to be the finest.

Her persistent discontent with everything you do will hurt your spirits.

Strategy

Know when to walk away because you can’t force someone to be with you.

Conclusion

Being in a relationship with an alpha widow can be a challenge, but it is manageable if you are aware of the risk and know what to watch out for.

By understanding these dangers, you can protect your heart and make informed decisions in the future regarding your romantic relationship.

You now understand that dating an alpha widow can have an undesirable impact on you, but if you decide to push through, remember to apply the self-preservation strategies I have shared herein to build a positive relationship.

Also Read: Here’s Why I Will Never Date a Widower Again

Chrisa Sayi

Dr. Chrisa Sayi is a distinguished clinical psychologist, renowned author, and gobally recognized relationship expert. With a decade of experience, she has guided numerous couples toward healthier, more fulfilling connections. Dr. Sayi has shared his invaluable insights at over 30 conferences and penned over 100 professional articles and books. Her expertise has been featured in many reputable publications, including Glamour, Medium, Daily Nation, Awakening Africa, Reader's Digest, Bustle, UpJourney, Fatherly, The Zoe Report, Cosmopolitan, and many more. For further engagement, you can connect with Dr. Chrisa Sayi on Twitter via @DrChrisaSayi1.

Chrisa Sayi
Chrisa Sayihttp://kenyalogue.com
Dr. Chrisa Sayi is a distinguished clinical psychologist, renowned author, and gobally recognized relationship expert. With a decade of experience, she has guided numerous couples toward healthier, more fulfilling connections. Dr. Sayi has shared his invaluable insights at over 30 conferences and penned over 100 professional articles and books. Her expertise has been featured in many reputable publications, including Glamour, Medium, Daily Nation, Awakening Africa, Reader's Digest, Bustle, UpJourney, Fatherly, The Zoe Report, Cosmopolitan, and many more. For further engagement, you can connect with Dr. Chrisa Sayi on Twitter via @DrChrisaSayi1.
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