Whether you belong to the Catholic Church or not, chances are you have heard about priests in love stories.
You probably know someone who dated or is dating a Catholic priest, heard of priests who have sired kids with women, or read such stories online.
In one way or another, priests just can’t stop making headlines when it comes to falling in love with the flock.
Some have chosen love over the church, going to show how intensely priests can fall in love too.
However, such stories shouldn’t come as a surprise because they always preach about loving one another; pun intended.
Without a doubt, priesthood is a delicate career, given the temptations involved.
Not all priests have the willpower to withstand bodily temptations, and that’s why stories about them falling in love always surface.
We have heard the worst scandals within the church, including child molestation, and that’s why we shouldn’t judge priests who choose to leave the vocation after failing to honor the celibacy pact.
Here are true priests in love stories and how many decided to leave the church and follow their heart desires.
1. Dan Murtah: Left the Priesthood for Love
Dan is a former Catholic priest who has never shied away from telling his love story that drifted him away from the church.
In an article published by the Guardian, Dan narrates how meeting an old friend blossomed into love, leading him to leave his vocation.
The two had first met in their late teenage years at a Catholic Pilgrimage to see the just-ordained Pope Benedict XVI.
When they met again ten years later in a fundraiser, Dan was into the priesthood, and she was a trained nurse who had recently been divorced.
They rekindled their friendship which blossomed into love after a few months, posing a big challenge to Dan, who was torn between being truthful to the church and succumbing to his natural feelings.
Dan decided to write to Pope Francis for guidance, but the only reply he got was from the Vatican secretary advising him to discuss the issue with his bishop.
As expected, Dan discloses that the church leadership advised him to stay in the church because he would later regret his decision to leave.
Dan was also reminded that it was wrong to break his celibacy vow.
However, Dan had the last say, and he says not a day has he regretted leaving the church or breaking his celibacy vow to be with his fiancée.
He discloses that his move had repercussions, such as being barred from tying the knot with his fiancée in a Catholic church.
Dan reveals that he isn’t the only priest in such a predicament, as he knows several of them who have been forced to take a similar step.
He also admits that many priests don’t dare to leave their vocation for love and continue suffering silently under the celibacy oath.
The fear of stigmatization has increased secret priestly affairs and children being sired in the process.
2. Alex Menez: Left the priesthood for love after serving for 40 years
You can’t help but fall in love with Alex’s love story because he perfectly and distinctly narrates it in his published book The View from the Pew: A Catholic Priest Falls in Love.
Alex had encountered many women in his 40 years of dedicated priesthood, but none intrigued or caught his attention as his current wife, Espy Dr Vega, did.
So, how did Alex meet Espy?
In 2000, during an ongoing mass, during readings, Espy made her way to the pew.
Alex saw her arrive late, and instead of being annoyed as usual whenever parishioners arrived late, he stayed calm.
He always looked forward to seeing her in his scheduled mass from that day.
A few months later, Espy wanted a priest to bless her new car, and it was a lucky day for Alex to meet her up close and know her name finally.
He spent more time performing the ritual and talking to her than usual, but Espy remained professional yet friendly.
Espy’s mother passed on three years later. Alex had given her communion during her sickness.
He helped Espy’s family mourn and became more than just a priest to them.
Espy’s family, all girls, would invite Alex to gatherings, and he became like an elder brother to them.
It took Alex 8 years after meeting Espy to realize he was falling in love with her.
At first, he didn’t understand the feelings because he doubted he could have such feelings at his age.
He was almost hitting 60 years, and again, he felt that Espy wasn’t feeling the same about him.
However, she later confessed she felt for him and feared opening up because of his profession.
Her confession is all that Alex needed to take the next step, leaving his 40-year-old ministry.
Alex was granted permission to retire from the priesthood in 2008 and granted dispensation by Pope Benedict XVI.
Alex and Espy wedded in 2011 in Long Beach, California.
He dedicated his book to his wife of 10 years in 2021, calling it his love letter to her.
3. Michael Pauken
Michael is yet another priest who hasn’t regretted his decision to leave the priesthood to be with the love of their life.
He served in the Trier diocese in Germany when he met his wife Claudia, with whom he is already blessed with a child.
Michael revealed that it wasn’t easy to abandon his priesthood calling, but his love for his wife proved decisive for the celibacy rule.
He is among priests who believe that the celibacy rule should be scrapped to allow priests to enjoy marriage, which would also reduce cases of homosexuality and molestation in the church.
Michael also maintains that were it not for the celibacy stand, he would still serve his diocese as a priest.
Like other priests who leave the altar-bound career to pursue love, Michael had to find another sustainable job to support his family.
He runs a home for the elderly in Western Germany.
Pauken is hopeful that celibacy will be dealt away with, which is why he is yet to apply for laicization, meaning he hasn’t retired from the priesthood despite breaking the celibacy oath.
The couple has also not formalized their union in the church because Michael still identifies as a priest, although he was relieved of his priestly duties.
Michael’s love story proves that most priests who abandoned their religious role wouldn’t have left if the church allowed them to pursue romance.
They believe that one day the church’s top leadership will realize that celibacy is an obstacle that causes division in the church and attracts reputation-tainting controversies such as child molestation.
4. Alberto Cutie
Alberto’s decision to leave the priesthood and pursue a romantic relationship became public after photos of him hugging a bikini-clad woman surfaced online in 2009.
With his reputation and that of the community church he served on the line, Alberto was forced to make a conference to address the issue.
He admitted to being in a relationship with the lady in the photos and confirmed that he would leave his priestly duty as is expected of priests who break the celibacy promise.
In the same conference, Alberto reported his switch to Trinity Episcopal Cathedral in Miami, Florida, where he would continue performing his religious duties without celibacy restrictions.
Alberto’s scandal surprised many catholic faithful, given his international recognition, having worked in different capacities as a Catholic priest under Miami Archdiocese.
The archbishop of Miami Catholic churches at that time, John C Favalora, also expressed his disappointment in Alberto’s scandal and admission of breaking celibacy vows.
Albert married the woman, Ruhama Canellis, in the same year in the Episcopal church.
They are blessed with three children.
Is It Common For Priests To Experience Romantic Feelings Or Fall In Love In Reality?
Sure, despite years of training to practice celibacy, priests are not immune to romantic feelings.
They can develop romantic feelings because they are human.
The Catholic church tradition expects priests to respect celibacy rules and not succumb to earthly passions.
While some priests successfully abide by the celibacy and chastity rules, others can’t help but find themselves torn between pursuing love interests and their vocation.
When this happens, a priest has to be truthful and choose a side.
However, it is worth noting that some churches, like the Anglicans, allow their priests to marry.
What are the potential consequences for a priest involved in a romantic relationship in the context of their religious vows and responsibilities?
Do priests who have taken the oath of celibacy suffer consequences for getting involved in romantic relationships?
The Catholic church has outlined several potential consequences that priests under celibacy vows may face for falling in love. They include:
- Damaged Reputation: The congregation lowers their trust and loses respect towards clergy associated with romantic affairs because it is a sign of compromised dignity and disrespect to the vocation.
- Canonical Punishment: Catholic Church priests who engage in romantic relationships face canonical penalties such as suspension for those who show repentance. Those who remain adamant in their pursuit of romantic relationships while still under the ministry attract permanent dismissal from their religious duties.
- Emotional and Psychological Conflicts: Priests in romantic relationships must decide between remaining faithful to the doctrine and pursuing their love interests. Those who eventually choose to serve the church and abandon romantic relationships suffer silently while trying to stifle their feelings.
- Guidance and Counselling: Priests who show remorse after being caught engaging in relationships are required to undergo counselling to rebuild their canonical vows and stay true to the church.
Also Read:
What Do Priests Do When They Break Celibacy?
Consequences of Sleeping With a Catholic Priest
How do love stories involving priests impact people’s perceptions of religion, celibacy, and romantic love?
Of course, priests’ involvement in romantic conquests can raise eyebrows and affect people’s perception of religion, celibacy, and romantic love.
The involvement is often seen as a clash between vocation and heart desires and can influence perceptions in the following ways:
- Priests’ Vulnerability; When priests are caught up in romantic relationships, people are reminded that religious leaders are also humans who can suffer moments of weakness. It is a reminder that romantic love can strike anyone, and the men in white color are no exception.
- Celibacy Relevance Challenged: Since stories about priests’ involvement in romantic relationships keep happening, it leaves much to be desired on celibacy. The religious community may question the need to enforce the celibacy rule if it keeps being violated repeatedly.
- Religion Devotion: Love stories surrounding priests remind the church that it takes strong-willed people to undertake the priestly role and fight the urge to dishonor the celibacy pact. Such discussions can encourage those already in the ministry and those wishing to join the clergy to stay true to their vocation.
- Challenged Personal Beliefs: People may reevaluate their standings on religion and celibacy, leading to debates on whether the two can co-exist or remain to be a source of conflict. Some people may leave the religion altogether and find one without questionable morals from their leadership.
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