Goosing happens when someone lightly touches, slaps, or softly pinches a friend’s or lover’s buttocks.
Your friend or lover shouldn’t know you are about to goose them, which means it should be a surprise touch executed from behind where they cannot see you.
Goosing can take place between close friends or relatives in a non-sexual context.
Sexual goosing, on the other hand, involves lovers as a way of having fun and showing affection to each other.
(Sexual goosing among couples has its benefits which are highlighted in this post).
Some individuals tend to goose people they are not close to or lovers with, which is disrespectful.
In a society where media and online influence is undisputed, consensual culture is slowly losing its meaning, and victims of sexual harassment are having a hard time opening up.
Goosing is among behaviors mostly normalized in films, creating the perception that someone doesn’t need consent to goose someone.
Unknown to most people, goosing someone without their consent equals violating boundaries and can be treated as sexual harassment.
Sexual goosing is beneficial in a relationship or marriage context.
Lovers who goose each other frequently enjoy benefits such as:
- Bonding: Goosing helps lovers maintain physical and emotional intimacy between them, helping them create a strong bond.
- Stress reliever: Goosing is a playful yet sexual act that can help a lover or significant other release stress. An unexpected touch from a loved one can help you forget about your problems momentarily.
- Positive Feelings: Couples that goose each other frequently create an environment of happiness and relaxation, which is essential in improving their emotions.
- Expresses affection: Goosing is a flirty or sexual touch that people in love can use to express their affection to one another. Its playful element also helps spice up a couple’s love life.
So, when is goosing allowed, and how should you react after being goosed by someone you don’t know or without your consent?
Below are circumstances to help you understand better when goosing is appropriate:
I. Romantic Scenarios
Lovers may goose each other to show affection, playfulness, flirt, or generally have fun.
Physical touches help create intimacy in relationships and marriages, and goosing fits the description.
II. Close Friendships
Friends who are not necessarily in a romantic relationship but close enough to interact physically can goose each other.
Consent in goosing is essential; friends who mutually consent to it can practice it without making each other uncomfortable.
III. Cultural Context
Goosing in some cultures is allowed and not perceived as immoral or disrespectful.
However, individual preferences are key, implying you should not lean on the cultural context without minding how the person you are about to goose may perceive your actions.
Even where cultural norms allow goosing, consent should guide your actions.
IV. Particular Circumstances
Goosing may be allowed in specific situations, such as fun and flirty-themed parties.
Putting yourself in such conditions means that you can attend such parties and goose or get goosed as many times without feeling violated or disrespected.
However, you have a right to communicate or leave the party if your feel someone’s goosing is becoming inappropriate and making you uncomfortable.
Any physical touch from a stranger besides handshake greetings can cause uneasiness, including nonconsensual goosing.
What should you do if someone gooses you without your consent?
1. Let Them Know They Have Overstepped Their Boundaries
If a stranger or someone you are not physically close to gooses you without your consent, let them know you don’t condone their behavior and that doing so made you uncomfortable.
Responding immediately shows that you didn’t appreciate their behavior, and if they are remorseful, they will apologize.
2. Educate Them
Some people may ignorantly goose someone, not knowing it is disrespectful.
You can take the opportunity to teach them about respecting personal boundaries and keeping their hands to themselves when tempted to goose or touch someone without their consent.
Teach them to respect people’s spaces to avoid being accused of sexual harassment when they least expect it.
3. Involve Other Parties
You can share your embarrassing encounter with a colleague, friend, or boss if someone consistently gooses you without explicit consent.
Goosing amounts to sexual harassment if the person involved is not a close friend, and you can include others for help handling the situation.
4. Keep a Distance
Someone may goose you intentionally to seek sexual favors from you, and when that happens, keep a distance.
Trust your instincts and leave the unsafe space if it doesn’t feel safe.
A pervert may use goosing to communicate their intentions, so it is safer to move away from them because most do not operate with consent.
If someone hesitates to respect your boundaries, they don’t have your best interests in their actions, making it necessary to avoid their presence.
5. Contact the Authorities
If someone repetitively gooses you or is adamant about respecting your privacy, it may be time to seek assistance from law enforcement or other applicable authorities like human resources if the harassment occurs in a workplace environment.
If unreported, repeated goosing instances can result in sexual assault or rape because the harasser thinks you have given them the leeway to harass you and can get away with their actions.
Additionally, documenting the goosing accidents before involving the authorities will help prove the situation’s seriousness.