You are taking a casual walk around the block with your husband when he suddenly turns to look at a woman crossing the road.
He can’t help but stare at the well-dressed woman when even you are right next to him.
You confront him about the awful behavior and like all men, he replies, “We are wired that way!”
If you’ve attended some couple seminars in the past, you have heard the phrase: men are visual.
Women are always told to dress nicely, maintain a good weight, and apply makeup just to impress their men.
Obviously, women go crazy about this but it is a mere fact.
Let’s delve deep into this male attribute including how it came about, how it affects relationships, and more.
Why Are Men Visual?
I ask my husband this question all the time and he has never given me a satisfactory answer.
Most times, he claims that Mother Nature simply made men that way.
To drive his point home, my hubby always refers to the biblical story of creation in the Garden of Eden.
Once Adam laid his eyes on Eve, his breath was literally taken away. He exclaimed,
“Now this is the bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” Genesis 2:23.
But what does science say about it? Is there any evolutionary reason for the behavior?
According to an article in Washington Post, evolution contributed to the differences between men and women with regard to sex.
A quick look at history reveals that 99% of human history was about nomadic ways of living where people practiced hunting and gathering.
In all cases, men were considered successful (in regard to reproductive matters) based on the number of women they slept with. It was also a sign of status.
Women, on the other hand, didn’t care much about sleeping around.
Their symbol of status was the number of children birthed. Over time, the hunt to have more women among males went up.
Then there’s the issue of rewarding sex with meat. This was the order of the day during the days of hunting and gathering.
Women would throw themselves at men to get some meat to eat with their children.
Mean readily accepted the arrangement since it meant more women for them to sleep with.
Certainly, this behavior evolved and made men even more female-hungry than before.
If you’ve ever watched the behavior of chimpanzee males, you’ll see this clearly.
After a catch, they will gladly share it with lady chimps, especially those on estrus (wink wink).
Additionally, men don’t only want more women, they want variety.
As far as we can remember, polygamy has been an accepted practice in many cultures.
In Arab, African, and European ancient cultures, men married more than one wife. The women weren’t too bothered by it.
Kings often had a string of women including several wives and well-known concubines.
One woman just doesn’t seem enough for one man.
Although polygamy isn’t as rampant today, male species have created a version of it by marrying one woman and cheating with many others.
Cultures that allow women to have more than one husband are very few (if any at all).
Visual Stimulation In Men Vs Women
A study was conducted at Emory University Health Sciences Center to discover how male and female brains respond to visual stimuli.
The research, led by psychologists Kim Wallen and Stephan Hamann, examined the behavior of 14 female and 14 male participants when varied social and sexual interaction images were put in front of them.
The participants were each given thirty minutes to view the images as their brain activities were measured.
The figures would be compared through functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI).
As you can guess, the researchers discovered that men are more visual than women.
Their fMRI scans revealed high activation levels in the part of the brain that controls motivation and emotion also called the amygdala.
This is despite both parties being equally aroused by the pictures.
Researcher Shaunti Feldhahn also maintains that a man’s brain is different from a woman’s.
When a scantily-dressed woman passes in front of him, his brain lights up and he has an irresistible desire to consume the image.
Oppositely, a woman who perceives an attractive man thinks rationally and the image doesn’t elicit any sexual response from her (except for a few).
This is why po*rnography is mostly male-based. Men love watching endless photos and pictures of half-naked or naked women. Very few women are aroused by such.
I have spoken to a few women and they say p*orn actually grosses them out. It achieves the exact opposite result compared to men.
Men, on the other hand, are turned out by po*rnographic videos and images.
Are Men’s Visual Preferences Linked To Objectification Or Sexism?
The deeply visual nature of men is partly to blame for the sexism that exists in the world today.
The male species don’t just stop at ogling women or lusting over them. They go a step further and sleep with the willing parties.
As said before, they want variety, meaning they go for as many women as possible.
Females make the situation worse by throwing themselves at men for plenty of favors.
Prostitutes do it for money. Others are after promotions, clothing, status, etc. Men interpret this as their cue to treat women as inferior beings.
You can blame this on socialized objectification where men have been taught to treat men as sex objects as well.
Po*rnography has also heightened the behavior by a million times. Women are basically sex objects available for the pleasure of men.
Adverts and billboards are full of half-naked photos of beautiful females.
My husband and I always have noted this and casually talk about it from time to time.
Almost all music videos have scantily dressed women in them. Those that don’t have them, don’t see the light of day (except a handful, of course).
TV adverts aren’t any better. It all goes back to the visual nature of the male species.
Does The Visual Nature Of Men Impact Their Relationships?
Definitely!
Each time my partner ogles at another woman, it deeply hurts me. It sends the message that I am not enough.
No matter the love he showers on me, it never gets better.
And, just to mention, he claims that he loves me deeply (and I can see it) but the behavior is intrinsic. He claims he can’t do much about it.
One day I sat him down and poured out my heart to him. So we reached a consensus.
I chose to let him feast his eyes but he promised to not cheat. Now, we are much better.
I have conditioned my mind to see it as a struggle he cannot overcome.
Sadly, many couples haven’t navigated the issue one bit.
Some have separated just because the lady couldn’t deal with the guy’s behavior.
Other relationships are hanging by a thread.
Without the understanding of men’s brain wiring with regards to visual stimuli, very few relationships will make it.
Oppositely, men need to learn some self-control as well.
Even if they cannot stop themselves from ogling, they shouldn’t sleep around because they can’t help it. It’s simply an excuse.
The Bottom-line
From time immemorial, men have always been visual.
Both history and biology have proven it.
Most women are just the opposite.
This is the reason most men sleep with many women while women are monogamous for the most part.
Knowing this will help women understand their men better.
