Imagine having a conversation with someone when they repeatedly close their eyes while talking to you.
From their body language, the person is very present and actually participates in talking.
They are following everything and responding well only from time to time, their eyes are shut when the conversation shifts to them.
Some close their eyes for a second or two while others remain that way for up to 10 seconds at a time.
This can be very confusing for people in conversation with the said party.
They will wonder if the person is concentrating or has zoned out.
Does it mean that they are uncomfortable in the room?
Could it be a psychological issue?
Are they even interested in what you are saying?
If you are the one that can’t keep your eyes open, what can you do to stop the behavior?
1. Know Your Triggers
The first step in combating the behavior is to understand its root cause.
People close their eyes when talking for different reasons.
Perhaps the environment you find yourself in triggers the behavior. For instance, you tend to close your eyes a lot more during formal meetings than you do in relaxed social settings.
Maybe the conversation at hand makes you a little easy and closing your eyes is some kind of a coping mechanism.
For some people, cultural norms and expectations can greatly impact their body language.
What is considered rude in one culture may be polite in another.
Also, the relationship between people can inform non-verbal cues.
You may tend to ease up and relax around individuals you are used to.
The bottom line is that you should find out what causes you to close your eyes when talking to people.
2. Take A Break Before Speaking
If you find yourself shutting your eyes when you are uncomfortable with the topic, person, or environment, you might want to try and relax before saying something.
This can be a difficult thing to do when you are not used to it.
Your brain will trick you into just speaking with discomfort which eventually causes you to close your eyes while at it.
First things first, take deep breaths before you speak a sentence.
Breathe in and out for about 10 seconds. Really as long as you need to.
You’d be surprised how patient people can be. This way, your heart rate will remain normal and your body will feel calmer.
The calm will be transmitted to your head, throat, chest, head, and eyes.
When you do speak, go slow. Fast-talking may bring feelings of discomfort which will trigger unwanted body language.
3. Be Aware Of Unconscious Habits
Apparently, some people close their eyes while talking merely out of habit.
It’s the same gesture as tapping on the foot without noticing it, biting nails, and twirling the hair.
Such individuals do these things to self-soothe and distress in uncomfortable situations.
According to Lepaya, one of the best ways to counter negative body language is to hold strong eye contact.
Obviously, you don’t want to stare people down and freak them out.
Simply try your level best to maintain eye contact.
As you might guess, you need to master relaxation of the mind to achieve this.
It will take you some time but if you are committed to it, your efforts will bear fruit.
4. Acknowledge Your Feelings
Sometimes body language emanates from a point of pent-up feelings.
Take the example of a wife addressing her husband when she’s very angry.
Because of the strong emotion she’s feeling, she may end up being uncomfortable the whole time (and closing her eyes) when she could just be honest about her feelings and move on.
Simply name the emotion and even say it out loud if you can. This will take the pressure off and calm your body.
5. See A Specialist
Although rare, closing your eyes can also be caused by autism or Attentive-Deficit/ Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).
Most autistic individuals especially avoid eye contact.
People with ADHD are also hyperactive to the point that their minds literally run wild.
They also have a hard time staying attentive for too long.
Just to rule it out, take a trip to the doctor and get checked.
Parting Thoughts
When you find it hard to keep your eyes open when talking to someone, it can affect your self-esteem greatly.
You will often wonder if people are irked by the behavior.
What if they find you weird?
Try the strategies outlined above. But if nothing works, accept yourself and move on.
